everymonstrousthing | (no subject)

It's late. It's very, very late. And he has no idea what he's doing. He has no idea what he's doing.

He's not drunk - a little, maybe, but not enough to actually blame it. He's been at the club all day, finishing repairing the damage that he'd wrought with his cane. He'd thought about going home, but his apartment doesn't feel like home anymore, because home was on the tenth floor, with windows that opened onto the roof.

And what he is is lonely. And he's found something for that - not a cure. But a distraction.

And maybe it isn't fair. But what about life is?

He knocks on Jesper's door and then leans against the wall and waits.

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From:

everymonstrousthing

He bites his lip at the slight stretch of the second finger, his eyelashes fluttering slightly. He makes a soft, breathy sound, rocking his hips back.

From:

materialnik

For all that Kaz is new to this, his body is attuned and Jesper hopes that Inej had the chance to see him like this. He's a wonder of tensed body and beatific expression, like a church angel doing the most profane things. Jesper flexes his fingers and imagines it all to easily, Kaz a little more beautiful and a little more cruel. It's perfect.

"You're being so good," he murmurs, forgetting himself.

From:

everymonstrousthing

Kaz wonders at how much he likes hearing that, that quiet praise that sounds on the doorstep of prayer. He swallows, arching his back a little.

"I'm trying to be," he says. First time for everything.

From:

materialnik

He's quietly honored by that and Jesper kisses Kaz's shoulder as he stretches at him with his two fingers, still thorough for all that he aches to be inside him.

From:

everymonstrousthing

Kaz lets out a soft, almost plaintive sight, squirming his hips back a little. He shifts, a little unsteady with most of his weight on one foot.

"Feels good."

From:

materialnik

Jesper notes the shift but doesn't say anything, doesn't bring attention to it other than wrapping his arm around Kaz's chest. Presumably it brings him closer but it also supports his body.

"It's going to feel even better soon," he says, three fingers now. He could probably get away with two but Kaz came to him to feel good and that's his preoccupation.

From:

everymonstrousthing

Jesper's fingers are grazing something inside him on every thrust now, his hips twisting, his cock twitching as he's fucked open. He's never going to be able to sit on this couch again. He's never going to be able to sit on this couch and not think of this exact thing happening to him.

From:

materialnik

As far as Jesper's concerned, that's the plan. He can see that Kaz is pulled nearly to the edge and obviously needy for it, for the real act. So he pushes Kaz a second further, fingers gliding against the nerves that make Kaz twist and whine just once more before he pulls them slowly out.

"Now?"

From:

everymonstrousthing

Eyebrows drawn together, Kaz nods, twisting so that he glance back at Jesper over his shoulder.

"Now."

From:

materialnik

He leans over and laughs a little, kissing Kaz on the shoulder and then on the mouth. Jesper steps back only long enough to roll the condom on, stroking himself a little so that he's fully hard again after minutes spent on Kaz.

From:

everymonstrousthing

What are they even doing here? He catches himself wondering that. He sighs, a shivering breath and lifts his hips a little. There are so few people he'd be this exposed, this vulnerable, in front of.

From:

materialnik

Jesper holds Kaz's hips again for a moment, shifting him into a more comfortable position before he starts to guide himself in. Kaz's body is still lean and tensed and Jesper could lose himself in those shoulders, in the shift of muscle under skin and over bone.

From:

everymonstrousthing

It's still new enough that he has to remind himself to relax, remind himself that he's been thinking about this for days, that this is something that he wants. He breathes out reaches back to graze one hand against Jesper's thigh.

From:

materialnik

Jesper soothes his thumb in circles over Kaz's hip, careful to keep his leg at an angle that won't hurt him. "You feel good, Kaz," he says, low and for him to hear. "Saints, you have no idea."

From:

everymonstrousthing

"So tell me," says Kaz, finding that he really wants to hear it, that he really wants to know how Jesper sees him right then.

From:

materialnik

He laughs and kisses Kaz on the shoulder again, hips starting to move, though he's carefully still gentle about it. "I used to imagine that if we did this, you'd throw me down and have your way with me." Jesper keeps his voice low, smoky with fantasy. "And now it's me in you and I can feel you. Your whole body is an ember, Kaz. You're hot. Glowing. Hypnotic."

He sounds crazy now, making half-attempts at poetry, but Kaz feels too good.

From:

everymonstrousthing

"Are you - ah..." His breath catches for a moment. "Are you disappointed?" He doesn't think that Jesper sounds like someone disappointed, though. He thinks he sounds like someone who's getting everything he wants.

From:

materialnik

This time, he bites Kaz's shoulder, as if it's an attempt at a reproach. "How could I be?" This is more than he's ever dreamed will be real. How can he be disappointed?

From:

everymonstrousthing

The bite makes him laugh, just a little and he squirms, rocking back into the cradle of Jesper's hips. He doesn't argue, though. Who's he to question?

From:

materialnik

He loves the way that Kaz squirms, bucks back toward the touch. It encourages Jesper on, gives him the permission to start to properly fuck Kaz, hips rolling so that he thrusts deeply into Kaz.

From:

everymonstrousthing

Kaz moans when Jesper rocks into him like that, when he actually feels it. He drops his head, his weight caught on his hands.

"That's it" he mumbles. "More like that."

From:

materialnik

And he can give Kaz that, as often and as hard as he likes. Jesper moves a little faster, his thrusts a little more sharp, meant to take Kaz to the line between pleasure and pain he seems to like so much. "Like that?"

From:

everymonstrousthing

He arches his back, leaning into it as Jesper fucks him. It hurts, a little, but not in such a way that he wants him to stop.

"Saints, yes. Just like that."

From:

materialnik

Then he won't stop for all that he worries, just faintly, that Kaz will think it's too much. Jesper should know better that Kaz Brekker is made of sterner stuff in all things, especially the way he fucks. Not thinking, Jesper clenches his hands into Kaz's hips, leaving red marks from his nails.

From:

everymonstrousthing

That's what he craves - those marks, that ownership, even if just for now. He whimpers. Later, he can lie back and examine all of those marks, see how he feels about them once he's out of the moment.