everymonstrousthing | (no subject)

He finds himself more than content to just lean there, weight caught on his hands against couch cushions to that his weight isn't leaned on his weak leg. He bites his lip.

Jesper hums against Kaz's skin as he stands back up, trailing slick fingertips along Kaz's thigh as he does until they're warm against his arse. He's still careful as he presses one in, doubtful that Kaz has had anymore encounters of that kind since their last time.

He is still not, entirely, used to the feeling of being penetrated. He lets his head drop forward, shifting his hips slightly against the press of Jesper's finger.

"You can tell me to stop, you know," Jesper says. He shifts his fingers once more, trying to be gentle with the touch even though he knows it's a strange sensation.

"Maybe I would," says Kaz, his breath catching a little. He squirms his hips back a little. "If that was what I wanted."

Not that he's ever doubted Kaz will hold back on displeasure, but Jesper takes comfort in knowing. This isn't about hurting Kaz any more than he wants to be. "Well, as long as we're clear." Leaning forward, he kisses a previous mark and moves his finger slowly but fully inward.

"As crystal," breathes Kaz, closing his eyes and rocking back into the way that Jesper;'s touching him, the way that Jesper kisses his scars like they're beautiful or like they're not even there.

Jesper laughs and nips at his shoulder. "You're usually a lot more opaque," he points out, the words said against his skin. "More?"

"More," says Kaz, smiling. He isn't quite at the point of begging, not just yet, but he might get there. He sighs, content.

If anything, Kaz looks content and Jesper finds himself at a bit of a loss. It takes some of the sharpness out of him and Jesper wants to kiss him again and again. Afterward. For now, he focuses on Kaz's little request for more, moving in a second finger.

He bites his lip at the slight stretch of the second finger, his eyelashes fluttering slightly. He makes a soft, breathy sound, rocking his hips back.

For all that Kaz is new to this, his body is attuned and Jesper hopes that Inej had the chance to see him like this. He's a wonder of tensed body and beatific expression, like a church angel doing the most profane things. Jesper flexes his fingers and imagines it all to easily, Kaz a little more beautiful and a little more cruel. It's perfect.

"You're being so good," he murmurs, forgetting himself.

Kaz wonders at how much he likes hearing that, that quiet praise that sounds on the doorstep of prayer. He swallows, arching his back a little.

"I'm trying to be," he says. First time for everything.

He's quietly honored by that and Jesper kisses Kaz's shoulder as he stretches at him with his two fingers, still thorough for all that he aches to be inside him.

Kaz lets out a soft, almost plaintive sight, squirming his hips back a little. He shifts, a little unsteady with most of his weight on one foot.

"Feels good."

Jesper notes the shift but doesn't say anything, doesn't bring attention to it other than wrapping his arm around Kaz's chest. Presumably it brings him closer but it also supports his body.

"It's going to feel even better soon," he says, three fingers now. He could probably get away with two but Kaz came to him to feel good and that's his preoccupation.

Jesper's fingers are grazing something inside him on every thrust now, his hips twisting, his cock twitching as he's fucked open. He's never going to be able to sit on this couch again. He's never going to be able to sit on this couch and not think of this exact thing happening to him.

As far as Jesper's concerned, that's the plan. He can see that Kaz is pulled nearly to the edge and obviously needy for it, for the real act. So he pushes Kaz a second further, fingers gliding against the nerves that make Kaz twist and whine just once more before he pulls them slowly out.

"Now?"

Eyebrows drawn together, Kaz nods, twisting so that he glance back at Jesper over his shoulder.

"Now."

He leans over and laughs a little, kissing Kaz on the shoulder and then on the mouth. Jesper steps back only long enough to roll the condom on, stroking himself a little so that he's fully hard again after minutes spent on Kaz.

What are they even doing here? He catches himself wondering that. He sighs, a shivering breath and lifts his hips a little. There are so few people he'd be this exposed, this vulnerable, in front of.

Jesper holds Kaz's hips again for a moment, shifting him into a more comfortable position before he starts to guide himself in. Kaz's body is still lean and tensed and Jesper could lose himself in those shoulders, in the shift of muscle under skin and over bone.

It's still new enough that he has to remind himself to relax, remind himself that he's been thinking about this for days, that this is something that he wants. He breathes out reaches back to graze one hand against Jesper's thigh.

Jesper soothes his thumb in circles over Kaz's hip, careful to keep his leg at an angle that won't hurt him. "You feel good, Kaz," he says, low and for him to hear. "Saints, you have no idea."

"So tell me," says Kaz, finding that he really wants to hear it, that he really wants to know how Jesper sees him right then.