AU - Locked to Alec

[everymonstrousthing]

It's probably almost as bad as it looks. His cane lost, rolled into a gutter, stepped on, snapped, Kaz has no choice but to limp. He doesn't have a clear idea of where he's going. He turns his head and spits blood onto concrete for what feels like the thousanth time. He's not sure how far he's walked; he glances back but can't tell which direction he came from.

He recognises his surroundings, though. He knows more or less where he's headed.

He makes it to Alec's door. He's got no idea how late it is. He knocks with a curl first, blood smeared on leather, and then his knees give out and he slides down to sit on the floor with his back against Alec's door. He closes his eyes. Darkness comes flooding in. He fights it, as much as he can.

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[deflectere]

The slippery blood flowed over his hand, coating his fingers and seeping under his nails. Alec thinned his lips and watched Kaz squirm and wince in pain.

"What do you want me to do, then?" he asked him, prepared to ignore any of Kaz's suggestions.

[everymonstrousthing]

"Something," says Kaz, dragging in another breath, trying not to squirm too much between the floor and the press of Alec's hand. "Just...just not hospitals. Promise."

[deflectere]

"There's only so much I can do, mundane," Alec told him, keeping one hand on Kaz's wound and looking around his apartment. His stele was on a nearby table and Alec wished he could use that.

It would make things so much easier. "Do you expect me to put you back together with duct tape?"

[everymonstrousthing]

"Maybe," says Kaz, and he actually manages a laugh, though it comes out more like a huff of breath. "You're...fuck...you're so much better than me, you figure it out."

[deflectere]

"Shut up," Alec snapped, refusing to hear those words. He didn't deserve those words, not from anyone. His hand was starting to slip through the blood that had oozed through his fingers.

"Why won't you go to the hospital?" Alec asked, once against eyeing the stele on the table. "They'll help you."

[everymonstrousthing]

"I don't want to be on record anywhere," he rasps, and his head spins dizzily. He leans into Alec's touch, a little, presses into the pressure of his hand to keep himself awake. "Old habits die hard."

[deflectere]

"You're so -- " Alec made a sound of frustration and shook his head, knowing he wasn't angry but worried. Worried that this was one thing Kaz couldn't come back from.

"The only thing I have that isn't a hospital or duct tape is Marks and I can't do that to you," Alec told him, shaking his head. "You'll die. Every mundane does."

[everymonstrousthing]

"You think I'm going to die anyway." He's starting to think that Alec might have a point; he's starting to lose the edges of everything in darkness. "What's the worst that could happen?"

[deflectere]

"Before you die you become Forsaken," Alec told him, voice hard as flint. "If that happens, then I'll have to kill you because you'll try and kill me. Do you want that?"

[everymonstrousthing]

Forsaken sounds familiar, but probably not in the way that Alec means. Kaz isn't sure that it matters; any will he's got to argue is rushing it of him with the blood seeping through Alec's fingers.

"Do it." He barely bites back a groan. "What's the worst that could happen?"

[deflectere]

"You're an idiot," Alec said, shaking his head, resisting the urge to try this. He'd seen the Forsaken, knew that they might live a little longer but they'd go out of their minds and then they'd die.

"I do this and I might buy you a day or so at the most," Alec said, swiping a forearm across his forehead which was beaded with sweat. "That's the worst that can happen."

[everymonstrousthing]

"If you take me to a hospital," he says, through gritted teeth, and every word is a little war, something hard-won. "They're going to do things like..." He grits his teeth. "Taking my gloves and cutting clothes and I can't have that." He shakes his head. "I...I can barely stand it when it's you, so...whatever the fuck you're going to do, Alec, just do it. I don't care."

He's been ready for death since he fought his way back from it. Everything else has been borrowed time.

[deflectere]

Alec wanted to punch him in the face for making him make this choice. He was a leader, he knew how to lead but hard decisions when it came to people he knew, people he cared about twisted his stomach into knots.

Alec finally pushed himself up to his feet and grabbed his stele, the metal staining immediately with Kaz's blood. He came back and knelt down again, jaw tight and lips thin.

[everymonstrousthing]

Kaz is swimming in and out of consciousness; the dark has claws and they're digging into him, drawing yet more blood. He holds on with his fingernails. He pulled himself out of the gutter once before. He can do it again.

"C'mon, Alec," he says, voice raw. "You don't even like me that much."

[deflectere]

"Shut up," Alec snapped, reaching for the hem of the bloody shirt and yanking it up. He needed skin if he was going to do this, if he was going to doom Kaz to becoming a Forsaken.

"This is going to hurt. A lot," Alec warned and let his stele hover over Kaz's skin. "Bite down on your lip or something. Keep as quiet as you can."

[everymonstrousthing]

A wave of nausea hits Kaz hard when Alec yanks his shirt up, reveals pale skin smeared with blood. He fights it, though, nods and bites down on his lip, looking up at Alec with watchful eyes that slip in and out of focus. He trusts him. And what's the worst that can happen? He's on the verge of being dead anyway.

[deflectere]

This is not something that Alec wanted to do. He could lose everything for this. If the Clave found out, he could be stripped of his Marks and lose everything.

He set his jaw and pressed the stele to Kaz's skin, watching the iratze burn itself into his stomach near the wounds. He tried to be quick about it but it was a first Mark and it wasn't easy when the skin was so new and the burning so intense.

[everymonstrousthing]

It hurts more than anything that's ever happened to him in his life. More than the fall that shattered his knee. More than any beating he's ever taken.

A moan works its way past his bitten lip.

[deflectere]

Alec didn't apologize. He wasn't sorry. He might feel bad later but he wasn't going to feel bad now. He finished the last few lines of the dark rune before he pulled the stele back and took his hands off Kaz.

He waited. Watched.

[everymonstrousthing]

It burns. Breath sobs out of Kaz as the marks burn into his skin, permanent as a brand. When he broke his leg, when bone pierced skin, it had been Grisha healed but, if it hadn't, wounds would have be cauterised to stop bleeding, stop infection setting in. There's this weird pulling together feeling, of skin meeting skin, fat, muscle. Of knitting together.

And it hurts like bloody hell.

He ends up curled on his side, his chin tucked into his chest, his breath sobbing out of him. He isn't bleeding anymore, but he isn't sure that this is better.

[deflectere]

"It'll get better," Alec said, about as comforting as he could do. He knew the burning might ease but he'd never be the same. Alec had broken the Law, could be stripped of Marks and killed for this but it was gone now.

If Kaz turned into a Forsaken, Alec would kill him and no one would know what happened. If Kaz didn't turn, then...Alec didn't know because he didn't think that would happen.

"You feel any differently?"

[everymonstrousthing]

He lifts his head, eventually, face flushed and tear-streaked, but eyes clearer than they'd been before. He tugs his shirt back into place self-consciously. The brush of cotton against burned skin makes his breath hiss.

"Don't think i'm bleeding to death anymore."

[deflectere]

"Then, the Mark worked," he said though he didn't sound happy about it. He looked stricken, stern and cautious. "You still shouldn't move around too much. It takes time to heal completely."

[everymonstrousthing]

"Don't look so happy about it," says Kaz, letting his head fall back against the floor with a soft thud. "Suppose that means I need to stay the night?"

[deflectere]

"You're lucky I don't have company coming over."

Because that was such a typical thing, Alec entertaining.

"Don't move. Just stay there and if you fall asleep, you fall asleep. If you move, you're gonna make it worse."