AU - Locked to Alec

[everymonstrousthing]

It's probably almost as bad as it looks. His cane lost, rolled into a gutter, stepped on, snapped, Kaz has no choice but to limp. He doesn't have a clear idea of where he's going. He turns his head and spits blood onto concrete for what feels like the thousanth time. He's not sure how far he's walked; he glances back but can't tell which direction he came from.

He recognises his surroundings, though. He knows more or less where he's headed.

He makes it to Alec's door. He's got no idea how late it is. He knocks with a curl first, blood smeared on leather, and then his knees give out and he slides down to sit on the floor with his back against Alec's door. He closes his eyes. Darkness comes flooding in. He fights it, as much as he can.

Comments

[everymonstrousthing]

Kaz leans back against the wall. He tugs one glove off with his teeth and then he hitches up his shirt, fabric gone stiff with dried blood. He examines the rune that Alec burned into his skin the night before.

[deflectere]

Alec glanced behind him, wincing at the Mark on Kaz's skin and wondering what in the hell he'd been thinking. He could lose everything for that stupid thing, lose everything for a mundane.

"How's it feel?" he asked, keeping his emotions carefully locked down while he went about making coffee.

[everymonstrousthing]

"Sore," says Kaz, prodding at it cautiously with one naked finger. He's not sure that he's ever felt anything like it, not pain like it. And he has measured his life in pain, hasn't he? "But I'll live."

[deflectere]

"Let's hope so." Alec wasn't convinced. "Get up and get some coffee. I'm not waiting on you."

[everymonstrousthing]

"Your beside manner leaves a lot to be desired," rasps Kaz, his breath catching as he prods freshly burned skin again. "And you're going to have to help me up off the floor. Between this and my knee there's no way I'm getting up on my own." He shoots Alec a flat look. "Sorry."

[deflectere]

Alec scowled but dutifully came over and offered Kaz a hand. His expression was stern but not angry. Cautious. Wary. Worried.

"Did you ever think about going somewhere else last night?" he asked, curiosity taking over the scowl and solemness.

[everymonstrousthing]

Without thinking about it, Kaz reaches for Alec's hand with the hand not wearing a glove. Skin touches skin, but there's none of the usual dark spots touching the corner of his vision, no blood rushing in his ears. He leans into Alec's weight and tugs himself gingerly to his feet. His glove drops to the floor, for the moment forgotten.

"Where else have I got to go?" he asks.

[deflectere]

"I don't know," Alec said, giving Kaz a gentle nudge towards the counter so he could have something to lean on that wasn't Alec. Alec continued to want to keep some distance until he knew what was going to happen.

"That's why I asked you," he added, grabbing a few mugs and filling them with coffee. "I can't be the only one."

[everymonstrousthing]

"Inej won't have me. Krem has troubles of his own." Kaz is painfully aware that he doesn't have many people to fall back on, these days. Gone is the luxury of being Per Haskell's favourite monster. "I didn't think you'd turn me away." He shrugs, leans back against the counter, his eyes slipping closed with relief as he takes some of the pressure off his knee.

[deflectere]

"I was a third choice?" Alec asked, raising an eyebrow and shaking his head. "If I could throw you out, I would. You need more friends."

Alec didn't have that many people that he kept in his loop either. It was mostly his siblings, his family, and a few select others.

"Drink the coffee. Then maybe I'll think about letting you go home."

[everymonstrousthing]

"No," he says, "You weren't." He reaches out for the coffee but ends up curling his hand around Alec's forearm instead. Skin against skin sends a weird, unfamiliar shiver through him.

"I trusted you to do something. I don't trust many people, Alec."

[deflectere]

Alec wasn't really used to being touched and he was even less used to Kaz doing it. He eyed the hand on his arm for a second and made no move to remove it.

"You need to stop getting into trouble where you even need to come find me," Alec told him, shaking his head. "I can't stop you from dying every single time."

[everymonstrousthing]

Kaz keeps waiting for the nausea to hit him but, instead, he finds himself distracted by the heat of Alec's skin under his palm. He doesn't pull away.

"You mean this thing you burned into me isn't going to make me immortal?" He says, with a corner of a smirk.

[deflectere]

"You want to be immortal, you're better off talking to a warlock or a vampire," Alec told him, bringing his mug up to sip his coffee. "Nothing I can give is going to give you immortality."

[everymonstrousthing]

"And here I am, talking to you any way," says Kaz, corner of his mouth lifting in a smirk. "Is there..." He frowns. "That rune. Would it affect..." He looks down at his naked palm.

[deflectere]

"Would it affect what?" Alec asked, following Kaz's gaze down to his hand. "It's a healing rune. It'll heal you and it'll turn you into a Forsaken if I'm unlucky. It doesn't do anything else."

[everymonstrousthing]

"I..." Kaz passes one hand back through his hair, as much to stop himself trembling as anything else. "Touching people. Is difficult. Usually." He takes a sip of coffee to settle himself.

[deflectere]

"The Mark shouldn't have any effect on what you feel and how easy it is to touch people," Alec told him, shaking his head. "It heals. If you're touching people...it's all you."

[everymonstrousthing]

"Maybe it healed that too." Kaz covers his face with his hands for a moment, one gloved, one bare. He drags in a shuddering breath. This much he had not been prepared for.

[deflectere]

"Iratzes aren't that strong," Alec said, watching Kaz carefully. He wasn't sure if he'd ever seen Kaz's bare hands and he was curious but quiet. "Do you need to sit down?"

[everymonstrousthing]

"It's all just damage in the end, isn't it?" says Kaz, and maybe he does need to sit down because, suddenly, it feels like his ruined knee won't hold him. "Yes. No. I don't fucking know."

[deflectere]

Alec eyed Kaz coolly, refusing to let his expression betray anything he might be thinking. "Are you going to throw a tantrum?"

Alec didn't always have tact. He also didn't care about tact for the most part.

[everymonstrousthing]

"No," says Kaz, but he says it in such a sullen, petulant way that he's not entirely convinced himself. He scrubs his hands over his face again. "You? Don't understand."

[deflectere]

"You really don't want to push me right now," Alec warned him darkly. "I did something that risks my whole life to you last night to save you so if you want to toss insults around, you can do it elsewhere."

[everymonstrousthing]

"Maybe you should have just let me bleed out," he says, and flexes his fingers, staring at his hand like he's never seen it before. Tentatively he reaches out and grazes his fingertips against Alec's arm.