everymonstrousthing | (no subject)

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jesper

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It's late. It's very, very late. And he has no idea what he's doing. He has no idea what he's doing.

He's not drunk - a little, maybe, but not enough to actually blame it. He's been at the club all day, finishing repairing the damage that he'd wrought with his cane. He'd thought about going home, but his apartment doesn't feel like home anymore, because home was on the tenth floor, with windows that opened onto the roof.

And what he is is lonely. And he's found something for that - not a cure. But a distraction.

And maybe it isn't fair. But what about life is?

He knocks on Jesper's door and then leans against the wall and waits.

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"Since now."

He's not about to explain himself, but that doesn't mean he doesn't owe Jesper that flicker of honesty.

"You are sweet," Jesper says, as if he's just discovered something delightful. He kisses Kaz right over the heart, gentle as anything, before turning his attention back to nibbling and kissing. To teasing.

"If you tell anyone, I'll slice strips off you," says Kaz, touching the crown of Jesper's head lightly with one hand, the texture of his hair against his palm.

Jesper hums and nuzzles at the hollow of Kaz's chest now, a hand sliding up his thigh at the same time. "Liar."

"Do you really want to risk it?" asks Kaz, smiling, skimming the very tips of his fingers over Jesper's shoulders.

He smudges a kiss along Kaz's stomach, just above his navel and then just beneath. "Everything I am is risk."

He can guess where Jesper is headed and his breath catches, a little bit, at the thought of it.

"You never did think things through."

"You count on it," Jesper says, nuzzling into the faint trail of hair that wisps over Kaz's belly. "You capitalize on it."

"I do," says Kaz lifting his hips slightly. His cock is taking notice of the gentle attention and he flushes faintly, lifting his head so that he can look down at Jesper. "I did."

He still is though, isn't he? A little. Here. Now.

Jesper hums into Kaz's skin, dropping a kiss along the shaft now, and doesn't say anything. Even Kaz has to know that Jesper's not that hopeless, that he knows Kaz still is. He's just choosing to be all right with it.

He's almost unbelievably sensitive under the brush of Jesper's lips and he focuses, turns his not inconsiderable will to the task of staying still under Jesper's ministrations.

Jesper smiles, knowing full well that he's skilled at this, skilled enough to torture Kaz if he wants. Jesper teases at him with little patterns at the end of his tongue, mapping the sensitive skin.

He can't keep a coherent thought in his head while Jesper's doing that to him with his mouth. He can't focus. He lifts his hips a little, gasping when his cock brushes Jesper's lips.

It's a strange thing to see Kaz Brekker in any way undone and Jesper loves it just a little. He teases at the slit before properly taking the head into his mouth, watching Kaz.

Jesper is better at this than Inej was, but that makes sense - with how much it must have cost Inej to be with him like this. His breath catches like that. He tries not to hold them in the same thought in his head.

He's not Inej. He can never be Inej or mean what she meant to Kaz. But he is good at this and he sinks his head down a little further, still denying Kaz the full extent of his mouth, but teasing it.

Kaz lets himself gets lost in it in the slide of Jesper's mouth, the tease of it.

"Please," he says. It slips out softly, like a prayer.

Jesper raises his eyes to Kaz, looking up at him through his eyelashes in a way he'd been told made him look both angelic and wanton. He's trying for it now as he sinks his head down on Kaz as far as he can.

There is no way on earth or in the saint-filled Heavens that Kaz could have been prepared for a look like that. He moans, his head falling back against the pillow as the warm wet heat of Jesper's mouth slides over the full length of his cock.

Jesper can't smile, his mouth stretched around Kaz the way it is, but it's evident in his eyes as he bobs his head a little. His jaw relaxes to ease the motion, a hand moving up Kaz's body.

Kaz finds himself fascinated, his head lifted to watch Jesper's mouth slide up and down the length of his cock. He whimpers. He's not going to laugh. He can feel it.

With his long limbs, it's easy for Jesper's hand to make his way up to Kaz's chest. It doesn't quite tickle but the gesture doesn't land either, not until he presses a thumb over Kaz's nipple, teasing it the way he did before with his tongue.

"Ah!"

The sound that Kaz makes is raw, sharp, sudden. His back arches. "Jes, I can't..."

Good, he thinks. Jesper teases with his thumb a little more firmly now, eyes flicking up so that Kaz can look down and know it's deliberate.

He can't hold onto it. He can't keep a handle on it, not with Jesper working him over like that. He whimpers right before he comes, his hips trembling.