(no subject)

[everymonstrousthing]

Waiting while Inej finishes getting ready, Kaz checks his cuffs for, perhaps, the thirtieth time. The suit is new on, crisply tailored, deepest charcoal. He had endured a haircut and shave that afternoon. His boots have a mirror shine. He's made an effort which, while not dissimilar to how he looks every day, is enough that he's sure Inej will notice. His tie is navy blue, not a colour he'd normally choose but one that he knows Inej enjoys when he wears it.

So he's trying.
He's more than trying.

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[the_wraith]

It's still strange to Inej that this is where they are. Roughly three months since she's been in Darrow, and here she is, standing in front of a mirror, attempting to put on makeup for a night out with her boyfriend.

A night out with Kaz. That's the only thing keeping her hands steady right now.

It's strange to be dressed up in something she bought without mind for blending into the background or scaling up walls or hiding knives in. (She does have a knife hidden, in a garter high on her thigh.) It's not the she feels safe in Darrow and doesn't care about these things. It's that she wants to spend one night out with Kaz and force herself not to worry about it.

Her makeup's simple: a little shimmer on her lids, a little mascara, lip only slightly darker than her natural color. Nina probably would have tsked at her but Inej only knows how to do this or look like a made-up Suli doll. Her hair is down, out of its plait and brushing the middle of her back. She takes a deep breath and stares herself down in the mirror, wondering when that echo of Heleen's voice, calling her flat-chested and boyishly skinny, will ever well and truly disappear from her head.

"Sorry," she said, coming out of the bathroom and into the main room. "Ready now."

[everymonstrousthing]

Kaz is well aware, without Nina to tell him, that his breath catches every time he sees her, even on a normal day. Even when she's just woken up. This, though...this is different. Inej steps out of the bedroom and Kaz forgets how to breath for a moment. It's like his heart forgets how to beat. Like every unconscious part of him grinds to a halt. He's built a life lived on chance and good fortune and he has never, ever felt this lucky.

It's almost enough to get him believing in God.

"I'm sure I've had this dream before," he says.

[the_wraith]

She looks down and away, feeling a blush heat her cheeks. She's not trying to be coy, but she understands why some girls wear their hair down and long, to hide behind the waves.

"It's just a little make up, Kaz," she demurs. "And a nice dress. You look..."

He looks as handsome as he always does, sharp lines and dark colors adding power to his already powerful frame. She smirks at the little detail he's added, that she knows is for her.

"I like your tie."

[everymonstrousthing]

"Good," he says, the corner of his mouth lifting in a smirk that matches hers. He looks down at his gloved hands. "I'm going to take them off," he says, offering one to her. "But once we get there."

[the_wraith]

"You don't have to," she says, stepping forward to take his hand. With all the progress he's making, she doesn't want to point out how sometimes skin-warmed leather feels like a comfort to her. Because even so, she prefers his bare skin.

"You take them off when it matters."

[everymonstrousthing]

"I like to when it's just us." He never thought those were words he'd be saying, but he does. He likes the way her skin feels against his. "I've picked somewhere I think you'll like. We can walk."

[the_wraith]

"Not too far," she says, the hint of a laugh in her voice. "These things are sharp as daggers." Inej bends one knee back to lift up her foot and show off the truly remarkable heels that narrow to a point. "That's the only reason I'm wearing them."

This is a half-truth, the other half hidden in her smile. She likes to be nearer to Kaz, his face, his lips.

[everymonstrousthing]

"You're almost the same height as a normal person," he teases, bending his head to kiss her, amused when he doesn't have to dip as far as usual. "It's not far at all. A few blocks."

[the_wraith]

She narrows her eyes at him playfully, returns the kiss by trying to nip at his nose with her teeth as he pulls away.

"You wouldn't like me any other way," she says, heading towards the door. "Would you?"

[everymonstrousthing]

"Of course I fucking wouldn't." He walks with her, pulling the door shut behind them and locking it. "Wouldn't change a thing about you in the world, Inej. Not for a billion kruge."

[the_wraith]

"Mmm," she noises happily. She waits until he's at her side again, slipping her arm through his so they can walk together. Cozy.

"What about a trillion?"

[everymonstrousthing]

He pretends to think about that for a moment.

"I'd still chose you," he rasps, smiling down at her. "But if you tell anyone I said that, I'll fucking deny it." She won't. He knows that. His secrets are safe with her.

[the_wraith]

"How many of your secrets can I hold, Kaz?" she teases. She calls the elevator for them before Kaz can get the chance. He looks like such a gentleman -- like he always does, but even a touch finer -- but she doesn't want to be completely helpless on his arm.

"One day, I'll burst and you'll be up a tree."

[everymonstrousthing]

"You're made of the strongest stuff in the world, Wraith," he says, teasing her right back as she calls the elevator. "Don't believe you'll ever crack on me." He shrugs. "No-one in the world I trust so well as I trust you, Inej. It's always been the way."

[the_wraith]

"You trust yourself," Inej counters without thinking about it. But before he can answer, when the elevator doors pull open, she spins on the ball of her foot and catches him with a cagey look.

"Awful lot of compliments here, Brekker." No more than he would give her any other night, not now with the way things were. "Are you up to something?"

[everymonstrousthing]

"I trust myself." No point in lying about it or brushing it off. She knows him better than anyone. He steps forward, nudging her into the elevator. "I'm always up to something. you know that. No more than usual, though."

[the_wraith]

"Usually you're up to a lot." She lets herself be directed backwards, moving with ease in those heels. They would hurt by the end of the night but that doesn't mean she's not just as home in them as her sneakers.

[everymonstrousthing]

He loves the way she moves in her heels. In the elevator, he gives her some room, resists the urge to pull her in, to press against her everywhere he can.

"I'm trying to figure out the shape a Crow club can take here," he says. "Got to find some work for my hands."

[the_wraith]

"Idle hands are the Devil's playground," Inej murmurs in agreement. Not that Kaz's hands couldn't be cruel, or sinfully wicked, even when they were busy.

"The other casinos here aren't the impressive, but people here don't seem to like to gamble as much."

[everymonstrousthing]

"Laws and statutes," he says, head tilted as he thinks about it for a moment. "Do you think we might try and stay on the right side of the law for a while, Wraith? Try it on for size, see how it fits?"

[the_wraith]

Her brows lift slightly, trying hiding how much the comment interests her. It's not like Kaz doesn't know.

"Honestly?" she asks tentatively. "Truly?"

[everymonstrousthing]

"There's no weight to bear here," he says. "No reputation to maintain. We don't have to fight to survive." He shrugs, aware of just how much this might be to her. "No harm in trying. Does mean you'll have to help me figure out what we'll do with a Crow Club here."

[the_wraith]

The elevator dings and they're soon out in public again, on the street walking toward their destination, which Inej doesn't know.

"You know that's what I've always wanted," she says, finding his hand with hers. A future with the Dregs wasn't a real dream, just something that occasional tumbled through her mind when she tried to imagine where she was going, what she would do. But some honest work, for her, for Kaz? That's worth trying.

[everymonstrousthing]

"We could run a bar between us," he says. "No girls, no tables, nothing but drinking and dancing?" He glances down at her. "It's what I've been thinking about the last few days. Whether we could make that work."

He thinks between them, they could achieve most things. He thinks even the gods and the saints wouldn't have the balls to stop them.

[the_wraith]

"We could," Inej allows. She wonders if he would be content with that in the end, if Jesper would as she assumes he would also be brought in on the deal. It wouldn't make as much money as a casino, would require so much careful watching and planning.

"We could use that trick of yours, put people in the crowds at other bars. Convince them there's cheaper drinks and prettier people elsewhere."

[everymonstrousthing]

He smiles, pleased that she remembers those tricks, even though running the Crow Club had never been her job. He'd always had more useful things for her to do.

"Might work out," he says. "Stranger things have happened." He pauses, for just a moment, weighing up the next thing he had to say. "You're worth it, Inej. All of it."

[the_wraith]

After so long believing in the illusion that Kaz built up around himself in the Barrel, Inej has a hard time processing his words. Even now when she knows they're truth, when he showers her with affections and praise, he brings her up short with statements so simple, so honest, so immense that she doesn't know what to do with them.

No one's ever said these kinds of things to her before. How could she know what to say?

"You're worth it, Kaz," she says, the words bubbling up from who knows where. "You're better than the Barrel."

[everymonstrousthing]

He can't say anything to that for a moment. His cheeks flush warmly. He nods. The restaurant is up ahead of them, all warm lights and big windows. He squeezes her hand.

"Will we still call it the Crow Club? Even though neither of us are Dregs anymore."

[the_wraith]

She thinks about that, tucking her hair behind her ear. It's true that they're not Dregs, not really. She's never worn the tattoo and his is gone now. There's no Per Haskell, no debt at all, nothing to repay. Their little prison has given them that freedom.

But a part of her still wants to hold onto that connection. Kaz, Nina, Jesper. She got them all because of the Dregs.

"I think we should," she says. "It's like... in memory."

[everymonstrousthing]

"In memory," repeats Kaz, and then nods his head. They reach the restaurant and he takes his arm back so that he can open the door for her while holding onto his cane. "You're right. A Crow Club it is. The Two Crows club. Because it's the second?"

[the_wraith]

She flashes him a smile of thanks as he opens the door for her. Even when he was being a shit to her in the past, there was always something gentlemanly about Kaz. She likes it.

"I like it," she says. "Just have to tell Jesper the reasoning, so he doesn't think he's excluded."

[everymonstrousthing]

"He's not excluded. He can drink there all he likes." Kaz shrugs. "If he wants to lose all of his money, there are legal establishments here that are more than willing to take it off his hands."

[the_wraith]

"I meant in helping run the place." She tilts her head up at Kaz in curiosity. "Unless you don't?"

[everymonstrousthing]

"Unless I don't what, Wraith?" he asks, frowning. "Speak sense, Inej."

[the_wraith]

She takes a breath, refusing to rise to the barb. "I said Jesper shouldn't feel excluded, because I assumed you meant we'd run it like the Crow Club, you in command and Jesper and I helping with the rest. But you only said Jesper would be drinking and gambling, like you don't mean for him to be a part of the business end. So I said, I meant that Jesper should be helping with the business, unless you don't mean for Jesper to be helping with the business. Does that make sense now, Kaz?"

[everymonstrousthing]

"Oh. Perfect sense." Kaz hadn't meant to exclude Jesper, as it happened. It had been an uncharacteristic slip of the tongue; maybe he was getting too soft. He shrugs.

"Where else is he going to go?"

[the_wraith]

"That would be the question," Inej agrees. She smirks slightly. "He's a danger to himself when unsupervised. Idle hands are the Devil's playground."

[everymonstrousthing]

"Isn't that always what they say?" says Kaz, grinning. A girl offers to take his coat. He slips out of it without her assistance, then holds his hands out for Inej's. He takes the opportunity to drop a kiss into his hair.

[the_wraith]

It's so normal, it's bewildering. They are now the people they once watched, she once watched, enjoying their evening out at a nice place without a care in the world.

The hostess checks them in and leads them to a table. Inej takes in the restaurant as they walk, eyes gliding over everything. Kaz was right; she does like this place. It's simple in its elegance, the kind of posh that doesn't need to force itself on others. It's clean lines and rich fabrics and glimmers of silver. It's a lot like Kaz, actually.

"I don't think I've ever been somewhere this nice," she murmurs.

[everymonstrousthing]

"Me either," says Kaz, a smile twitching the side of his mouth as they get to the table and he pulls out the chair for her, waiting for her to take a seat. Once they're both sitting, he peels off his gloves and tucks them into his pocket. For a moment, he hesitates and then he offers her his hand.

"But this is who we are now, isn't it?" he says. "Away from Ketterdam. This is who we can make ourselves into."

[the_wraith]

He's always so courteous with her now; sometimes it feels even more telling, revealing, than when he takes off his gloves.

She smooths out her skirt and the tablecloth at her place, which was smooth to begin with.

"But we're always the same at the core," she says. "You think?"

[everymonstrousthing]

"I think so," he says, because he likes to think that about her, at least, even if he is rotten to his core. Even if he is ruined by what he become. She's better than him, he knows. She's made of rarer stuff. He picks up a menu and offers it to her. "Some things are too far gone to be fixed."

He's talking about himself, obviously. Never her.

[the_wraith]

She knows better than to believe that he's talking about anyone other than himself right now. Maybe he believes it of others -- not of her -- but he's made himself look a monster long enough that he doesn't see it any other way.

She takes the menu with a shrewd look. "I don't like broken things," she says, both casual and pointed, before dropping her gaze to the menu.

Inej wouldn't be here if she didn't think him capable.

[everymonstrousthing]

But that's the thing, isn't it? He doesn't feel broken when she looks at him. He doesn't feel monstrous when she sees him. He watches her for a moment, and then he smiles, glancing at his menu.

"Getting a taste for the finer things, Wraith?"

[the_wraith]

"Only that I can share with you," she replies without much thought. She went to parties, wrapped in silks, and the food and drink tasted like ash. The same things taste sweeter now.

"I'm sure you've scoped out this place before choosing it. What's good?"

[everymonstrousthing]

"The seafood is supposed to be excellent," he says, paging through his own menu. "But, admittedly, I mostly picked it because of the dessert menu." He glances up at her. "I've figured not out the way to your heart, Wraith."

[the_wraith]

She smirks at him, eyebrow raised.

"There's more to it than orange cakes," she teases, because he knows that. "You're going to get me fat, Brekker. I'll be an awful Wraith then."

[everymonstrousthing]

"Don't need a wraith here, anyway," says Kaz, definitely looking amused. "Just the girl I love and I'd love you no matter how round you got."