(no subject)

[everymonstrousthing]

He leaves Inej in his apartment, swaddles himself in his overcoat and his scarf and he walks over to Jesper's apartment. Everything's been different since Inej arrived; they've been in the same space, but Jesper hasn't been near him. There's been no texting. Nobody has let themselves into anybody's apartment in the middle of the night.

For once, when Kaz gets to Jesper's apartment, he leaves the lock unpicked.
He knocks with the head of his cane. He waits.

Comments

[materialnik]

Jesper wants to shoot back that they've ended up fucking plenty of times but something about his expression arrests him. "So. What am I then?"

[everymonstrousthing]

"You're..." Kaz struggles for the word, for a moment. "More than that. Anyone can see that. Inej can see it."

[materialnik]

Jesper narrows his eyes, trying to hide hope with cynicism. He squares his shoulders, tilts his chin up, as if he can dare Kaz into proving it. Into saying or doing something.

[everymonstrousthing]

And Kaz can play this game, too, he can face down Jesper, he could go cold and unyielding. But he finds that he doesn't want to. Slowly, deliberately, he peels off his gloves.

"Do you want me to go?"

[materialnik]

He wants Kaz to say it, wants to know the he's more than a henchman, an ally. Call him greedy or a bad gambler, but he wants a chance to imagine that he has a sliver of the love Kaz has for Inej. He's always been a romantic.

"Do you want to leave?"

[everymonstrousthing]

"No."

That word has sharp edges, but he realises that he doesn't. He doesn't want to go anywhere. He steps in again, raises one bare hand and touches Jesper's face.

[materialnik]

He can't help it then. Jesper tilts his hand into Kaz's touch, closes his eyes for a second. "So what do we do now?" he asks. It feels as though they're at an impasse. Of what kind, he doesn't know.

[everymonstrousthing]

Kaz strokes the sharp line of Jesper's cheekbone with one thumb.

"We figure it out," he says. "The three of us."

[materialnik]

He sighs out, head tilting again, thinking but also not really letting himself believe it can be so easy. "At least I know you're not buttering me up for my pancakes."

[everymonstrousthing]

"Your pancakes are fucking terrible," says Kaz, almost laughing a little, still touching Jesper's face, almost gently. "Inej knows I'm here. We...can make this work if you want to."

[materialnik]

It's almost sweet, almost loving, and Jesper's heart pulls a little because he wants this to work, to be real.

"I thought you were never going to forgive me," he says, still remembering the Kaz at Vellgeluk who'd hated him.

[everymonstrousthing]

"If something had happened to her that I couldn't fix, I wouldn't have," says Kaz, his voice quiet, low. It's the truth, and they both know it. "But she's here, and she's whole. And maybe this is a second chance. And we can be whoever we want. In this place."

He'd reinvented himself once. He could do it again.

[materialnik]

Jesper doesn't negotiate on that truth because he knows it just as well. Instead, he nods and then reaches up, covering the hand on his face with his own, keeping them in contact.

"Stay?"

[everymonstrousthing]

He doesn't say anything, but he does nod. He turns his head and presses a kiss against the heel of Poison's hand.

On 1 January 2017 at 20:45, materialnik - DW Comment <dw_null@dreamwidth.org</p>

[materialnik]

Jesper sighs out and shifts his head, turning it into a real kiss. It's shyer than probably even their first kiss, brief and light, but it's there.

[everymonstrousthing]

Kaz doesn't push it deeper, doesn't go chasing after anything that Jesper isn't offering him, right then. There's a knot of feeling in his chest. He doesn't know how to put it into words, yet.

[materialnik]

"Come on," Jesper says, taking a step back, out of the kiss but deeper into the apartment to invite Kaz in. "I can make you a drink, at least. No pancakes, I promise."

For a little bit, at least, things can be easy and they can lie down and be warm.

[everymonstrousthing]

"I'd definitely take a drink," says Kaz, leaving his cane leaning against the wall where it's stood. He lowers himself down into a seat and watches Jesper move around his space.

[materialnik]

Jesper lets Kaz take his seat but he keeps their hands connected for a moment, dropping a kiss onto his knuckles before moving into the kitchen.

"What'll you have?"

[everymonstrousthing]

The brush of lips against his knuckles makes him smile.

"Gin. If you've got it."

On 2 January 2017 at 07:06, materialnik - DW Comment <dw_null@dreamwidth.org</p>

[materialnik]

"Martini?" Jesper suggests. For someone who's spent most of his life avoiding thinking about the past, even Jesper can't help but notice the odd circuity of the moment. It feels like the first night, after Kaz had smashed the Crow Club.

[everymonstrousthing]

"A martini would be good," says Kaz, nodding, ruffling his fingers through his dark hair, pushing it back into place off his forehead.

[materialnik]

"Just for you," he says. In his relatively short time at Darrow, Jesper has acquired a very good alcohol cabinet and it's no struggle to mix up a martini with an olive and one for himself.

"Here."

[everymonstrousthing]

Kaz takes the drink with a smile of thanks and sips it. His eyes slip closed. There's room on the sofa beside him but he waits to see where Jesper puts himself.

[materialnik]

After a moment's hesitation, Jesper takes a seat on the sofa, though there's a person's worth of space between them. His long legs stretch forward, inviting Kaz to move over, to sit between them if he likes.

"Made it right?"