everymonstrousthing | (no subject)

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jesper

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It's late. It's very, very late. And he has no idea what he's doing. He has no idea what he's doing.

He's not drunk - a little, maybe, but not enough to actually blame it. He's been at the club all day, finishing repairing the damage that he'd wrought with his cane. He'd thought about going home, but his apartment doesn't feel like home anymore, because home was on the tenth floor, with windows that opened onto the roof.

And what he is is lonely. And he's found something for that - not a cure. But a distraction.

And maybe it isn't fair. But what about life is?

He knocks on Jesper's door and then leans against the wall and waits.

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Kaz's eyelashes flutter as he gets himself under control. He finds he can't look at Jesper without flushing faintly, the memory of come splashed on his dark skin.

"Fuck, Jes," he breathes.

"We have," Jesper says, smile unfurling. Shuffling back up the bed, he lays alongside Kaz and palms himself casually. "You looked..." He's never seen Kaz's face like that. He loves it.

Kaz's black eyes dart between Jesper's face and his hand on his cock.

"What do I look?" He says. "Tell me how to take care of you."

"Like a statue of a saint in ecstasies. Only better, because I know you're no saint," Jesper says. Sighing out, he shifts so that he's lying on his back, stroking himself. "You don't have to do anything." Even so, his glance flicks to Kaz hand. It's no demand, just a hope.

Kaz is aware of the movement of Jesper's eyes, what it indicates. But he wants to hear him say it.

"What do you need?" he asks, ignoring the slight tremble in his voice.

"Do you want to touch me?" he asks. This time, when he looks at Kaz through his eyelashes, it's purely an accident.

"Yes," says Kaz, surprised by that, by how honest it feels. "But..." He frowns. "I'm not sure I know how."

Jesper laughs. "It's not calculus, Kaz," he says. "I know you feel good when I touch you. Think of that."

"Numbers I know how to do," says Kaz, rolling his eyes, but he rolls onto his side, reaching out to brush his fingers lightly against the flat of Jesper's belly.

Just like Wylan, he thinks, and then regrets thinking. Kaz's touch is light, still so much more timid than Jesper would ever expect of him, but it's there and it makes his skin jump. "Pretend I'm an especially pretty algebra problem, then?"

Kaz doesn't say anything to that, but he does smile, his light touch still wandering, tracing the shape of Jesper's navel with the tip of one finger, the edge of his nail.

It makes him breath in, skin rising up in goose bumps where Kaz's nail tickles at him. "Only just noticing my charm?"

Kaz still doesn't say anything, not for a long moment, his fingers trailing up over Jesper's ribs to circle on nipple, fingertip light.

"How do you like being touched, Jes?"

His skin goes taut under Kaz's fingertips, all of him available for Kaz to see. He doesn't answer either, taking Kaz's other hand now and putting it on his cock so that he can fold his hand around Kaz's. "I'll show you."

It's an alien feeling, but not entirely - he's not been entirely without desire his whole life. He curls fingers around Jesper's cock, lets Jesper guide his pace and his grip.

He's easy enough to please, especially since he's already come tonight. The motion is simple, a little perfunctory but there's always more they can do later. If Kaz stays.

It feels familiar but, at the same time, completely different from when it's his own hand on his own cock. Still, he rolls his wrist, stroking the length of Jesper's cock. He bends his head, grazing a kiss against his chest, his shoulder, marveling at the heat of his skin.

"See, not so difficult," Jesper says, even as his breathing speeds up. Kaz is kissing him now, soft and curious and Jesper feels explored, as if he's a lock that Kaz wants to see opened.

"Not so difficult," says Kaz, because he's never had so much faith in anything as he does in his own clever hands. Experimentally, he circles the head of Jesper's cock with the pad of his thumb. Later, he'll need to wash his hands but, right now, he's lost in it.

"Mm, yeah," Jesper says, turning to kiss whatever part of Kaz that he can reach. "Keep doing that." He can feel the warmth as it crawls through his skin, makes him feel alive and needing.

Jesper's mouth finds his temple and Kaz lifts his head to graze their mouths together. He rolls his wrist again, keeping that circular movement of his thumb, spreading slick.

Kaz is kissing him rather than acquiescing to a kiss Jesper started, choosing to kiss him. It's a small thing but it makes him feel good, trusted, desirable. Jesper arches his back, rolls his hips into Kaz's touch.

He finds that he wants to keep doing it, wants to make Jesper feel good. He squeezes, tightens his grip just slightly.

Jesper lets his own hand fall away and gives control over to Kaz when the pressure changes. He's a quick study and Jesper just needs to be touched, needs just a little more.

He's fascinated by the rock of Jesper's hips, the catch of his breath, the slide of his cock in his hand. It's not dissimilar to picking a lock. There's a knack to it. A method.

He just needs Jesper to unlock.