everymonstrousthing | (no subject)

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jesper

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It's late. It's very, very late. And he has no idea what he's doing. He has no idea what he's doing.

He's not drunk - a little, maybe, but not enough to actually blame it. He's been at the club all day, finishing repairing the damage that he'd wrought with his cane. He'd thought about going home, but his apartment doesn't feel like home anymore, because home was on the tenth floor, with windows that opened onto the roof.

And what he is is lonely. And he's found something for that - not a cure. But a distraction.

And maybe it isn't fair. But what about life is?

He knocks on Jesper's door and then leans against the wall and waits.

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He can't keep a coherent thought in his head while Jesper's doing that to him with his mouth. He can't focus. He lifts his hips a little, gasping when his cock brushes Jesper's lips.

It's a strange thing to see Kaz Brekker in any way undone and Jesper loves it just a little. He teases at the slit before properly taking the head into his mouth, watching Kaz.

Jesper is better at this than Inej was, but that makes sense - with how much it must have cost Inej to be with him like this. His breath catches like that. He tries not to hold them in the same thought in his head.

He's not Inej. He can never be Inej or mean what she meant to Kaz. But he is good at this and he sinks his head down a little further, still denying Kaz the full extent of his mouth, but teasing it.

Kaz lets himself gets lost in it in the slide of Jesper's mouth, the tease of it.

"Please," he says. It slips out softly, like a prayer.

Jesper raises his eyes to Kaz, looking up at him through his eyelashes in a way he'd been told made him look both angelic and wanton. He's trying for it now as he sinks his head down on Kaz as far as he can.

There is no way on earth or in the saint-filled Heavens that Kaz could have been prepared for a look like that. He moans, his head falling back against the pillow as the warm wet heat of Jesper's mouth slides over the full length of his cock.

Jesper can't smile, his mouth stretched around Kaz the way it is, but it's evident in his eyes as he bobs his head a little. His jaw relaxes to ease the motion, a hand moving up Kaz's body.

Kaz finds himself fascinated, his head lifted to watch Jesper's mouth slide up and down the length of his cock. He whimpers. He's not going to laugh. He can feel it.

With his long limbs, it's easy for Jesper's hand to make his way up to Kaz's chest. It doesn't quite tickle but the gesture doesn't land either, not until he presses a thumb over Kaz's nipple, teasing it the way he did before with his tongue.

"Ah!"

The sound that Kaz makes is raw, sharp, sudden. His back arches. "Jes, I can't..."

Good, he thinks. Jesper teases with his thumb a little more firmly now, eyes flicking up so that Kaz can look down and know it's deliberate.

He can't hold onto it. He can't keep a handle on it, not with Jesper working him over like that. He whimpers right before he comes, his hips trembling.

Jesper pulls back, stroking Kaz through it as come hits his lips. He can feel it slipping down but he doesn't hurry to wipe off his mouth and chin. He's preoccupied in watching Kaz.

It's one of the filthiest things he's ever seen - he was never one who visited the girls - and he doesn't really know what to do with that. He moans. He doesn't know the words to describe how beautiful Jesper looks right then.

Jesper sits up a little when Kaz finishes, wiping off his face where he can't reach with his tongue. It's not his favorite taste in the world but he can see how it rivets Kaz and he wants to keep his eyes on him.

Kaz's eyelashes flutter as he gets himself under control. He finds he can't look at Jesper without flushing faintly, the memory of come splashed on his dark skin.

"Fuck, Jes," he breathes.

"We have," Jesper says, smile unfurling. Shuffling back up the bed, he lays alongside Kaz and palms himself casually. "You looked..." He's never seen Kaz's face like that. He loves it.

Kaz's black eyes dart between Jesper's face and his hand on his cock.

"What do I look?" He says. "Tell me how to take care of you."

"Like a statue of a saint in ecstasies. Only better, because I know you're no saint," Jesper says. Sighing out, he shifts so that he's lying on his back, stroking himself. "You don't have to do anything." Even so, his glance flicks to Kaz hand. It's no demand, just a hope.

Kaz is aware of the movement of Jesper's eyes, what it indicates. But he wants to hear him say it.

"What do you need?" he asks, ignoring the slight tremble in his voice.

"Do you want to touch me?" he asks. This time, when he looks at Kaz through his eyelashes, it's purely an accident.

"Yes," says Kaz, surprised by that, by how honest it feels. "But..." He frowns. "I'm not sure I know how."

Jesper laughs. "It's not calculus, Kaz," he says. "I know you feel good when I touch you. Think of that."

"Numbers I know how to do," says Kaz, rolling his eyes, but he rolls onto his side, reaching out to brush his fingers lightly against the flat of Jesper's belly.