everymonstrousthing | (no subject)

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jesper

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It's late. It's very, very late. And he has no idea what he's doing. He has no idea what he's doing.

He's not drunk - a little, maybe, but not enough to actually blame it. He's been at the club all day, finishing repairing the damage that he'd wrought with his cane. He'd thought about going home, but his apartment doesn't feel like home anymore, because home was on the tenth floor, with windows that opened onto the roof.

And what he is is lonely. And he's found something for that - not a cure. But a distraction.

And maybe it isn't fair. But what about life is?

He knocks on Jesper's door and then leans against the wall and waits.

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"Fuck," breathes Kaz, shaking his head a little. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, just concentrating on not losing his mind altogether. "What can I have then?"

"I can keep doing this. I can go and get it..." Jesper feels a little uncertain when Kaz is staring at him so hungrily.

"Go get it," says Kaz, swallowing, stroking his cock slowly. He lets his eyes drift close. "I can wait."

He can wait. Just.

"When did you become such a minx?" Jesper drops a kiss onto Kaz's knee and withdraws his touch. He nearly trips over himself in his hurry to find the bottle he'd carelessly thrown onto the sofa but he still pauses and spares the abused furniture a smile. He's never going to look at that couch the same way again.

Kaz isn't sure that he likes that word applied to himself. But he isn't sure that he hates it, either. The kiss makes him smile, just a twitch of the corner of his mouth. He stills the stroke of his hand while Jesper is gone, though, squeezing his cock, trying to find his centre.

It's still a smile and Jesper notices. The ghost of it is still on Kaz's face when he returns, hand already slicked. He doesn't say a word as he settles back onto the bed, between Kaz's spread legs.

If anything, Kaz spreads his legs further apart to accommodate Jesper between them. He lifts his hips a little, squeezing his cock again.

"Eager, are you?" Jesper moves a slick finger into him, quick and easy now with the lube.

"Yeah." It's as much of an admission as he's ever going to make, as much as he's ever going to give away. He's got a better poker face than Jesper; they both know it. His breath catches when Jesper pushes a finger into him like that. He nods.

"That's good."

"Show me," he says, nodding at Kaz's stilled hand. "Show me how you like it."

"How I like what?" Asks Kaz. "A hand on my cock?"

"How you bring yourself off," Jesper says, tutting a litle at Kaz's lack of imagination.

Kaz's cheeks flush with reflexive embarrassment but he nods, starts stroking himself quicker, harder. A greater sense of urgency. He's never really enjoyed lingering over this.

He nods at Kaz, silently encouraging him, and then teases at him with two fingers now. Slicked, they're easy to navigate into Kaz's body.

Kaz lets himself gets lost in it, the arch of his back, the press of his cock through the circle of his fingers. He bites his lip over a moan.

"No," Jesper says, pressing his fingers in deeper, determined to drive Kaz over the edge. "Don't hold back."

Doesn't Jesper have any idea of how impossible that seems to someone like Kaz Brekker, someone who's spent his entire life holding himself back. He strokes his cock again and, this time, when he moans, he doesn't try to swallow it back.

"There we go," Jesper says, voice a little breathy. It sounds good too. Even with his own body tired and spent, Jesper can feel the thrill go down his belly. Saints but he's going to savor this memory later.

"Come on Kaz. I want to see you come."

He's teetering, almost on the edge, and he wonders, briefly, if this is how Inej feels on her high wire. No net. He squeezes, his hand making a wet, obscene sound as he strokes his cock faster.

"Almost."

Jesper smiles and glides his fingertips deep into Kaz, searching out that spot, determined to be the cause, the instigator of the precise moment when Kaz loses it.

Pleasure spikes through him, too hard and fast for him to ride it out. He sees a flash of white, and then he's coming, spilling across his fingers, the taunt and trembling muscles of his belly.

"Oh, fuck," he mumbles. "Oh, Jes."

His hips snap up and then he's gone and Jesper can't help the look of satisfaction on his face. He's the one that brought that on. He made Kaz feel that way and Jesper can't deny the little pride he takes in it.

"You look so good," he says, admiring Kaz shamelessly.

"All for you," says Kaz because, in that moment, it is and, in that moment, he can't imagine letting anyone but Jesper touch him like this, especially with Inej gone. He's going to stay the night, he realises. There's nowhere that he'd rather be than here.

Jesper smiles at him and knows he looks pleased with himself. He isn't sorry. "Stay here," he says, both for the moment and for the night. For now, he withdraws his fingers and slips away to the bathroom to clean his hands and wet a towel for Kaz.

For once in his life, Kaz takes an order. He just lies there, his hands draped over his head, come going tacky on his skin. He bites his lip, squirming a little.