Kaz Brekker (
everymonstrousthing) wrote2016-09-10 08:37 pm
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It's late. It's very, very late. And he has no idea what he's doing. He has no idea what he's doing.
He's not drunk - a little, maybe, but not enough to actually blame it. He's been at the club all day, finishing repairing the damage that he'd wrought with his cane. He'd thought about going home, but his apartment doesn't feel like home anymore, because home was on the tenth floor, with windows that opened onto the roof.
And what he is is lonely. And he's found something for that - not a cure. But a distraction.
And maybe it isn't fair. But what about life is?
He knocks on Jesper's door and then leans against the wall and waits.
He's not drunk - a little, maybe, but not enough to actually blame it. He's been at the club all day, finishing repairing the damage that he'd wrought with his cane. He'd thought about going home, but his apartment doesn't feel like home anymore, because home was on the tenth floor, with windows that opened onto the roof.
And what he is is lonely. And he's found something for that - not a cure. But a distraction.
And maybe it isn't fair. But what about life is?
He knocks on Jesper's door and then leans against the wall and waits.
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"Fuck," breathes Kaz, shaking his head a little. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, just concentrating on not losing his mind altogether. "What can I have then?"
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"Go get it," says Kaz, swallowing, stroking his cock slowly. He lets his eyes drift close. "I can wait."
He can wait. Just.
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Kaz isn't sure that he likes that word applied to himself. But he isn't sure that he hates it, either. The kiss makes him smile, just a twitch of the corner of his mouth. He stills the stroke of his hand while Jesper is gone, though, squeezing his cock, trying to find his centre.
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If anything, Kaz spreads his legs further apart to accommodate Jesper between them. He lifts his hips a little, squeezing his cock again.
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"Yeah." It's as much of an admission as he's ever going to make, as much as he's ever going to give away. He's got a better poker face than Jesper; they both know it. His breath catches when Jesper pushes a finger into him like that. He nods.
"That's good."
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"How I like what?" Asks Kaz. "A hand on my cock?"
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Kaz's cheeks flush with reflexive embarrassment but he nods, starts stroking himself quicker, harder. A greater sense of urgency. He's never really enjoyed lingering over this.
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Kaz lets himself gets lost in it, the arch of his back, the press of his cock through the circle of his fingers. He bites his lip over a moan.
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Doesn't Jesper have any idea of how impossible that seems to someone like Kaz Brekker, someone who's spent his entire life holding himself back. He strokes his cock again and, this time, when he moans, he doesn't try to swallow it back.
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"Come on Kaz. I want to see you come."
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He's teetering, almost on the edge, and he wonders, briefly, if this is how Inej feels on her high wire. No net. He squeezes, his hand making a wet, obscene sound as he strokes his cock faster.
"Almost."
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Pleasure spikes through him, too hard and fast for him to ride it out. He sees a flash of white, and then he's coming, spilling across his fingers, the taunt and trembling muscles of his belly.
"Oh, fuck," he mumbles. "Oh, Jes."
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"You look so good," he says, admiring Kaz shamelessly.
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"All for you," says Kaz because, in that moment, it is and, in that moment, he can't imagine letting anyone but Jesper touch him like this, especially with Inej gone. He's going to stay the night, he realises. There's nowhere that he'd rather be than here.
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For once in his life, Kaz takes an order. He just lies there, his hands draped over his head, come going tacky on his skin. He bites his lip, squirming a little.
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