(no subject)

[everymonstrousthing]

Kaz lets Jesper lead the way. It isn't the first time that he's been in Jesper's apartment but it's the first time without Inej, and that makes everything different. Once he's inside, he shrugs out of his jacket, leaves himself in his shirtsleeves, looks down at his gloves for a long, long time. Irritated, he passes one hand back through his hair and lowers himself down onto the couch.

"Not too late to turn me out onto the street, Jesper."

Comments

[everymonstrousthing]

The pain is sudden, present, and it makes Kaz's breath catch. His head falls back again, his eyelashes a dark smudge against his palm skin.

"Gods, Jesper," he breathes. "What are you trying to do to me?"

[materialnik]

"Keep your interest," Jesper says, somewhere between glib and genuine. Jesper knows that he's desirable, has been desired but Kaz has always been a fantasy and not a reality. Whatever's happening now is new and uncertain for both of them.

"What do you like?"

[everymonstrousthing]

Kaz looks helpless for a moment, completely out of his depth. He closes his eyes, tries to focus. There seems to be no common ground between what he'd done with Inej and what he was possibly, probably, going to do here. Nothing to link the two things but the warmth, how alive Jesper feels in his arms.

"Not being in charge," he admits. "Not..." He shakes his head a little. "Managing to let go."

[materialnik]

Jesper leans back, looking at Kaz with genuine surprise. Not shock, not distaste, just surprised. "Always figured you were the type to stay in control." But maybe, for someone who clings to it in all other things, it shouldn't surprise him that Kaz wants to give it up here.

It's a shift in their power balance, their dynamic. Jesper isn't quite sure how to pursue it, just that he will.

It's a good thing, then, that he has some experience in making men let go. Jesper spares a second to nudge Kaz to sit at the edge of the bed and then kneels on the floor in front of him.

[everymonstrousthing]

He sits, his eyes widening slightly when Jesper slips down onto his knees like that. Of all the things that he'd been expecting, somehow, that wasn't it. He catches his weight on his hands.

"Sometimes, it feels good to let go." He's just never been able to let anyone see it before.

[materialnik]

He doubts Kaz has any idea of just how much Jesper's thought about this. Definitely hasn't, if he's this surprised. Jesper palms Kaz through his pants, the other hand working to undo his belt.

[everymonstrousthing]

He's hard and knowing that Jesper can feel that makes him blush, colour rushing to pale cheeks. He lets out a shivering breath, lifting his hips to help Jesper with his belt.

[materialnik]

Jesper rolls his palm over Kaz again, tilting his head and looking up at him. His other hand, long-fingered and clever, moves up Kaz's shirt to open up his buttons so that he can see his chest but he doesn't make Kaz divest himself completely. Jesper hardly thinks, though, that he can be blamed for wanting to look, not when Kaz is all cut marble underneath his clothes.

Eyes still turned upward at him, Jesper lowers his head and begins to peel Kaz's underwear away.

[everymonstrousthing]

Kaz is helpless to do anything right then. Jesper's breath is warm and close and his skin is warm where they touch and Kaz is aching hard.

This is a stupid idea, says the cautious part of his brain. But he doesn't have any others.

[materialnik]

This is a stupid idea, Jesper thinks, because this is going to get him hurt. But that's always been what happens where Kaz is concerned and he pushes the thought away, focuses on Kaz and his cock. As soon as his clothes are out of the way, Jesper bends his head again, breathing along the length and giving Kaz a chance to back out.

[everymonstrousthing]

His breathing is shallow, hurried, even though it's just breath that Jesper's touching him with right then. He swallows, letting his head tip back. He's aware of every his loosened clothing touches. He's not sure whether being completely naked would be better or worse.

[materialnik]

He's never seen Kaz likes this, realizes he must be only the second person in the world to see Kaz as close to undone as he already is. The thought puts a shiver through him as he finally turns his head and mouths his way up along the shaft until he's got his mouth open over the head. Quickly, Jesper glances up and then away from Kaz's eyes.

[everymonstrousthing]

It makes a sort of sense that Jesper would be good at this, that he'd make it look like an art. It's different from how Inej had gone about it, but no less good for that. Kax's fingers flex in the sheets.

[materialnik]

Jesper hadn't gained his experience from any kind of menagerie. He'd learned it with other men and women at the university, usually in the pursuit of mutual pleasure and never in pursuit of coin. He uses those tricks now, focused on sucking Kaz off, unable to keep from glancing in every direction, noting Kaz's hands and how they tighten in the sheet.

[everymonstrousthing]

It's so easy to get lost in, the wet heat of Jesper's mouth, the thump of his own pulse, the tightening of muscles, the quickening of his breath. His back presses into an arch, his hips rocking cautiously to press into Jesper's mouth.

[materialnik]

In this moment, Jesper's pretty sure he could be anyone to Kaz but that's fine. He can see that Kaz's eyes are nearly black, his body is tensed and arched, and it's because of him. That satisfies him enough.

One hand creeps up Kaz's thigh, circling what Jesper's mouth can't take, stroking him.

[everymonstrousthing]

The noise that he makes is broken, needy, helpess. He worries his lip with his teeth.

"I can't..." He's embarrassed by how quickly he's come to this point, but there's nothing to be done about it.

[materialnik]

Jesper isn't terribly surprised. He's decent enough at this and Kaz hasn't had as much experience. It still pleases him a little to see Kaz Brekker like this.

When Kaz speaks, Jesper pulls back so that he only has the head in his mouth and uses his hand to finish him off.

[everymonstrousthing]

Jesper doesn't back off, and Kaz supposes that he shouldn't be surprised. Jesper never did know when to walk away. His hips stutter. He's so close.

"Fuck. Jes."

[materialnik]

Jesper hums in the back of his throat but doesn't pull off, liquid gray eyes flicking up to meet his. On his knees, he has to shift to palm himself. Kaz has called him that name a hundred times but right now, hearing it like that goes right through him.

[everymonstrousthing]

He's not sure that he noticed before how beautiful Jesper's eyes are before, like silver. He whimpers, his hips lifting off the bed as he comes in Jesper's mouth, as he rocks up into his hand.

[materialnik]

It's not always the easiest, swallowing, but Jesper's willing to do it for Kaz. He breathes in through his nose and waits until Kaz is fully spent before he pulls away, sitting back on his heels. Short of breath and caught up in watching Kaz, he doesn't think how obvious he must look now, his own hand against the tent in his trousers.

[everymonstrousthing]

He sits there, his clothes rumbled, his cock softening and his skin still spit damp. He lets out a whimpering breath, pushing one hand back through his hair, sweat springing at his hairline. He swallows, his dark eyes fixed on Jesper, still on his knees.

"What else do you want?" he asks, his voice a raw rasp.

[materialnik]

Saints, he's going to think back on this mental image for so many nights to come. Jesper looks at Kaz, eyes creeping over every sign of what he's done to Kaz Brekker, how he's been able to see him come apart. He's caught up in it and he almost doesn't hear Kaz. Even when he does, he has to replay it in his mind to make sure he heard right.

"What are you offering?"

Jesper moves to sit on the bed next to Kaz, leaned back on one arm and using his other hand to open up his pants, to grasp himself. He's not sure he believes Kaz will want to touch anyone. Will want to touch him.

[everymonstrousthing]

Before he answers, Kaz's eyes dart downwards, watching the movement of Jesper's hand, the glimpses of his cock. He remembers how he'd felt, right before he touched Inej for the first time. He wonders if any of this would have been possible without her being here and then gone. He wonders if she's happy.

And then he makes himself look up.

"Anything you want," he says. Tomorrow, he might regret it, but, for right now, he's stripped bear. Here, entirely without armour. For better or worse.