everymonstrousthing | (no subject)

He's never known Kaz to be pliant, to be warm and wanting. And Kaz is warm. His body feels as heated and taut as any other man Jesper's been with.

"My kitchen's not very comfortable," he remarks. "Especially without the alcohol" Bed. Couch. Floor. Kaz can make his choices.

Kaz draws in a shivering, delicate breath and blinks.

"Wherever you want," he says. It feels good to not have to hold himself in check.

He could drink in this version of Kaz, the one that had heretofore only existed in the sweeter of Jesper's fantasies. He'd always expected, if anything did come of this, that it would be a rough thing with Kaz's hand on his throat but this is...well, Kaz looks on the verge of swooning.

Jesper pulls back enough that Kaz can stand on his own and starts walking backward to the bedroom.

For his part, Kaz lets himself be lead. He stays pliant, focuses on the sound his boots make on the boards, the warmth of Jesper's skin and the strength of his hands.

Jesper kicks the door closed behind them and then laughs because who's going to interrupt them? The last person who was in his bed with him, Jesper had pushed and shoved and they'd been playful about it. This feels too loaded to be so flippant.

But Saints, would he love to leave Kaz Brekker with a few secret bruises.

First, Jesper peels off the t-shirt he's been wearing and throws it to the ground.

It's a lot of skin to suddenly be faced with. Kaz takes a breath. His fingers are trembling as he unbuttons his cuffs. It's not much. It's a whole world.

He's got a scattering of scars, stab wounds and bullet holes. The worst one, embarrassingly, is from tripping over a plough and he likes to make up different stories for that one but it doesn't change what he looks like. Lean, well-worn, with dark skin and light scars. All of it available to Kaz.

They're not so different - the scars, the wear. Kaz is a little broader, paler, but he wears the weight of his life, the same way as Jesper does. He fumbles, though, when he starts to undo his tie.

"Let me," Jesper says, because he's enjoying the sight of Kaz fumbling but he's also always wanted to undress Kaz too. Coming closer, he starts to tug at the knot, better at removing ties than actually tying them.

Kaz watches him, deft movements as he undoes his tie. There was refuge in crisp tailoring. Safety. He finds himself perfectly content with Jesper stripping them all away.

Jesper tries not to betray himself but his eyes are greedy as he pulls the tie away and opens Kaz's collar. It's obvious this is something he's considered before. Something he's wanted.

Forgetting to be careful, the way he always does, Jesper leans forward and kisses Kaz's throat.

It feels good to be looked at like that, good to be wanted instead of feared. Maybe he hadn't considered how much Jesper wanted this, in the end.

Jesper's breath is hot against his throat. It screams life. He lets his head fall back, acquiesces.

It shocks him to see Kaz so pliant, acquiescing. Jesper would have figured him to be sharp, pushy in bed, as commanding as he is in all ways.

It's stranger and Jesper finds himself a little delighted by it, kissing at Kaz's neck.

His hand is shaking when it comes up to graze against Jesper's bare bicep, the side of his neck and the curve of his skull as Jesper's lips slip over his skin.

"You're so warm," he mumbles.

He feels as if he's being handled carefully, something that has never been done for him and never by Kaz for sure. It makes his breath quicken and the bottom drop out of his stomach, makes him hungry for it.

"You know me," he teases. "Made of sunshine."

"And who knows what I'm made of," says Kaz, glad, for a moment, that he's still wearing his shirt, that he's got that little bit of armour left to him, even if his collar and cuffs are loose. He smooths his palm against Jesper's scalp, feels the rough texture of his hair.

Ink, blood, pure spite. Those are usually Jesper's guesses but he keeps the speculation to himself. Especially now, it seems harder to prove with the revelation of Kaz Reitvald, whoever he was.

Jesper shifts a little and tests Kaz with a bite at his throat.

The pain is sudden, present, and it makes Kaz's breath catch. His head falls back again, his eyelashes a dark smudge against his palm skin.

"Gods, Jesper," he breathes. "What are you trying to do to me?"

"Keep your interest," Jesper says, somewhere between glib and genuine. Jesper knows that he's desirable, has been desired but Kaz has always been a fantasy and not a reality. Whatever's happening now is new and uncertain for both of them.

"What do you like?"

Kaz looks helpless for a moment, completely out of his depth. He closes his eyes, tries to focus. There seems to be no common ground between what he'd done with Inej and what he was possibly, probably, going to do here. Nothing to link the two things but the warmth, how alive Jesper feels in his arms.

"Not being in charge," he admits. "Not..." He shakes his head a little. "Managing to let go."

Jesper leans back, looking at Kaz with genuine surprise. Not shock, not distaste, just surprised. "Always figured you were the type to stay in control." But maybe, for someone who clings to it in all other things, it shouldn't surprise him that Kaz wants to give it up here.

It's a shift in their power balance, their dynamic. Jesper isn't quite sure how to pursue it, just that he will.

It's a good thing, then, that he has some experience in making men let go. Jesper spares a second to nudge Kaz to sit at the edge of the bed and then kneels on the floor in front of him.

He sits, his eyes widening slightly when Jesper slips down onto his knees like that. Of all the things that he'd been expecting, somehow, that wasn't it. He catches his weight on his hands.

"Sometimes, it feels good to let go." He's just never been able to let anyone see it before.

He doubts Kaz has any idea of just how much Jesper's thought about this. Definitely hasn't, if he's this surprised. Jesper palms Kaz through his pants, the other hand working to undo his belt.

He's hard and knowing that Jesper can feel that makes him blush, colour rushing to pale cheeks. He lets out a shivering breath, lifting his hips to help Jesper with his belt.

Jesper rolls his palm over Kaz again, tilting his head and looking up at him. His other hand, long-fingered and clever, moves up Kaz's shirt to open up his buttons so that he can see his chest but he doesn't make Kaz divest himself completely. Jesper hardly thinks, though, that he can be blamed for wanting to look, not when Kaz is all cut marble underneath his clothes.

Eyes still turned upward at him, Jesper lowers his head and begins to peel Kaz's underwear away.