AU - Rat

[everymonstrousthing]

In the days after she goes, he's Dirtyhands more often than not. He stalks Darrow, sharp enough to cut. So little soft left in him. It's worse, because he'd let himself soften. He'd let too much of Kaz Reitvald come back and now reminding himself how to be the man he was in Ketterdam is hard work. It hurts.

Still. There's rough work to be done. So here he is.

The air in the club is close with tobacco, the smell of bodies. Kaz's mouth makes a moue of distaste as he slips up to the bar and orders gin, neat. He leans his back against polished wood, looks up at the stage. He's in time to catch the tail end of the performance.

Comments

[everymonstrousthing]

It's a lot to give in to, to lift his hips and let Rat peel his underwear down, leaving him essentially naked and sprawled on the sofa. Kaz has been naked in front of only one person in his life. Rat makes two. He watches Rat's face, watches for a reaction. He pulls in a breath, his cock twitching in the cool air.

[plaguedrat]

Rat doesn't make it a show, but he does lean back enough to take the sight of Kaz in completely. The other man looks cut from marble, beautiful and elegant, and Rat smiles at him before leaning forward and running a hand up one bare thigh.

[everymonstrousthing]

The scar on his right knee and thigh is ugly, twisted and thick, but it's something that Kaz has grown used to over the three years he's been living with it. The pain is worse than the scar. He tilts his head, looking down at Rat.

"See something you can work with?"

[plaguedrat]

Rat leans forward and looks at that scar, running a careful thumb over the shape of it. There's no pressure, no prodding, just a brief exploration. To him, it's no worse than the scars he sees every day in the mirror.

"See something I like," he corrects.

[everymonstrousthing]

A brief, genuine smile flickers across Kaz's face. He nods.

"Good."

[plaguedrat]

He catches that smile and holds Kaz's gaze for a second, offering him a smile in return. Trailing fingers from that scar up Kaz's thigh, he bends forward again to take Kaz in his mouth, properly this time without the barrier of clothing.

[everymonstrousthing]

It's been a long time and the wet warmth of Rat's mouth sliding down over him comes as something of a shock. Kaz's head falls back and he makes a small, broken sound.

[plaguedrat]

It's a lonely sound and Rat responds with a gentle hand on Kaz's thigh. It's neither pitying nor condescending, just simply there as a reminder of his real see and solidity. All of this as he sinks his head down, mouth wet along his skin.

[everymonstrousthing]

His hand slides over the back of Rat's hand, nails scraping lightly against his skin as Kaz lifts his hips experimentally. It's all softer and kinder and more gentle than Kaz really knows what to do with anymore.

[plaguedrat]

Rat tilts his head so that his hair falls to the side, giving Kaz access and encouragement to dig his nails in. He's still testing Kaz, searching out his limits. When he seems at ease, then Rat starts to bob his head, the movement well practiced.

[everymonstrousthing]

His fingers push into Rat's hair, keeping it flipped back from his face, so that Kaz has got a view of Rat's delicate features, of the way his mouth looks as it slides down over Kaz's cock. He'd suspected that Rat would be good at this; he's pleased not to be surprised.

[plaguedrat]

Rat has had enough lovers that this is no longer strange to him but something he knows and knows well. He makes it look easy as he slides his head down, breathes through his nose, and flicks his eyes up to Kaz's, asking if he likes it with an air of challenge, like he dares Kaz to give in, to voice his pleasure.

[everymonstrousthing]

That look, it's provocative and dangerous, sharp like all of Rat's looks are sharp. Enough to cut. But Kaz Brekker has never shied away from dangerous things.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he breathes, losing the words to the edges of a moan.

[plaguedrat]

Rat smiles around him, lets out a hum low in the back of his throat that teases all the worse because he pulls back then, licking his lips and giving Kaz a feral look. "So?" he presses.

[everymonstrousthing]

It's an effective tease and Kaz is left breathless and wanting, his hips lifting slightly to press himself into nothing at all. He swallows.

"What?"

[plaguedrat]

He still plays up the theatricality of it, licking his lips and making clear eye contact. "Is that how you want to come?" It's a genuine request, hidden in a tease, as Rat unbuttons his own jeans, moves off the couch to fully undress so that he's as bare as Kaz.

[everymonstrousthing]

Kaz can't answer the question for a moment, sidetracked as he watches Rat undress. He swallows, glances up at Rat, curls his fingers around his own cock and strokes spit-slick skin. He rolls one shoulder.

"Whatever you want," he says. "I want to do whatever you want me to do." It's a confession - it leaves him feeling hollowed out and clean.

[plaguedrat]

"Well, first I want you to stop that," Rat says, indicating Kaz's hand. "You'll spoil it." Standing up, he lets Kaz observe him from behind, scars visible but yards of lean muscle and pale skin too.

[everymonstrousthing]

"We wouldn't that," says Kaz, but he does take his hand away from himself, lifting both arms to drape his arms against the couch cushion over his head. "What about you? What do you really want here, Rat?" He draws in a slightly shivering breath. "I think I'd let you do anything."

[plaguedrat]

"That's a dangerous thing to say, between the two of us," he says. What does he want? An excellent question, a fair one to ask when he's just had Kaz at his mercy. Wanting and needing are different things in his life, one subsumed for the sake of the other. "Are you asking me if I want a relationship or something?"

He asks with an edge of sarcasm, enough to save him if he's not reading this correctly. If Kaz isn't as bereft as he is.

"I make a decent distraction. I enjoy you."

[everymonstrousthing]

"No," says Kaz because, honestly, the thought of a relationship ever again, of leaving himself that open to another person just makes him feel queasy and sick. "I mean right here. What do you want from me now." He swallows, glances up at Rat with dark hooded eyes.

[plaguedrat]

That, he supposes, is what he gets for not minding his lessons and becoming romantic against all advice. He keeps those thoughts from showing and reaches out with his hands to pull Kaz to his feet. They can do this in bed, keep the cats out and the memories at bay.

"I'd like to push you into that mattress and make you forget your own name for a while."

[everymonstrousthing]

Kaz can't help smiling, suddenly and breathless. He leans in and takes a kiss, fingers of his free hand brushing Rat's shoulder, warm and strong. "I want that," he says, surprised by how strong the stab of desire is. "So fucking much."

[plaguedrat]

"Done," he promises. With sudden force, he takes Kaz by the shoulders and pushes so that he falls backward into the bed. Rat smiles wickedly as he closes the door and turns the lock. No one is going to come in, but it adds another barrier, another sense of finality.

Still wearing that face, Rat goes into his night stand and throws a tube and some condoms onto the mattress before following suit, bending over Kaz to give him a firm kiss that hints at being punishing.

[everymonstrousthing]

The turned key, the look in Rat's face sends a shiver of excitement through Kaz's core. He lies sprawled on the bed, makes no attempt to move. When Rat leans over him and kisses like that, Kaz pushes back, kissing with answering hunger and ferocity. If Rat wants him in place then Kaz wants to feel it when he's put there.