AU - Rat

[everymonstrousthing]

In the days after she goes, he's Dirtyhands more often than not. He stalks Darrow, sharp enough to cut. So little soft left in him. It's worse, because he'd let himself soften. He'd let too much of Kaz Reitvald come back and now reminding himself how to be the man he was in Ketterdam is hard work. It hurts.

Still. There's rough work to be done. So here he is.

The air in the club is close with tobacco, the smell of bodies. Kaz's mouth makes a moue of distaste as he slips up to the bar and orders gin, neat. He leans his back against polished wood, looks up at the stage. He's in time to catch the tail end of the performance.

Comments

[plaguedrat]

"I'm enjoying you," Rat says, matter-of-fact. "It's nice to get a glimpse of who you really are." Thoughtful, forever playing with Kaz's boundaries, he lets go of Kaz's hand and places his own at the edge of Kaz's collar, fingers thumbing at a button.

[everymonstrousthing]

"You should count yourself lucky," murmurs Kaz. Rat touches a button and Kaz's head spins in a way that he doesn't think has anything to do with the gin. He tilts his head, looking up into Rat's face. He knows better than to tell him he's beautiful.

[plaguedrat]

Rat favors him with a smile, playful that verges on sweet. He's careful, deliberate, in the way he undoes the first button and then the second, fingertips running over the bared skin.

[everymonstrousthing]

It's a definite shiver that goes through Kaz, when Rat touches skin that's so rarely vulnerable to the air. He reaches up, fiddling with the knot of his tie.

"Should I...?" He frowns. "Do you want me to..."

[plaguedrat]

"Do you want to?" The question is asked seriously now, without any of the earlier playfulness. He looks up at Kaz, gray eyes meeting brown ones.

[everymonstrousthing]

He's not sure what he's admitting to wanting, not really, except this and more. He nods, tugging at the knot of his tie.

"Yes, I fucking want to," he says, all in a rush.

[plaguedrat]

That startles a laugh out of him when Kaz hurriedly undoes the tie. Everything has been so careful and deliberate until this moment and it thrills him a little. Rat nods, unwinding it from Kaz's neck and tugging the collar open so he can bend forward and kiss the newly-exposed skin.

[everymonstrousthing]

A little dazed, undeniably turned-on, Kaz lets his head fall back, giving Rat room to work at his throat. Tentatively, his fingers push into Rat's hair. He wonders, for a moment, if Rat would prefer something else; if he would prefer Dirtyhands to the boy in front of him, more Reitvald than Brekker in the moment under the moment.

[plaguedrat]

Rat has seen enough contradictions in his lover to know that Kaz Reitvald and Dirtyhands can live in the same person, can balance. The progress of this is slow, perhaps slower than with any other partner he's had, but there's a certain enjoyment in that too, like unwrapping a present with teeth and tongue.

At the base of his neck, where it will be hidden under that stiff collar and perfectly knotted tie, Rat bites again, sucking up a mark.

[everymonstrousthing]

His breath catches, sharp, at the small pain of Rat sucking up a mark on his skin like that. His fingers tighten in the other boy's hair.

[plaguedrat]

He can feel the tightening grip in his hair and Rat hums his approval against Kaz's skin. Planting another kiss lower, Rat one-handedly works open the buttons of Kaz's waistcoat so that he can more easily slide a hand over and down Kaz's chest.

[everymonstrousthing]

There are scars which will come as no surprise to Rat: the shiny one under his jaw, a stab wound in his shoulder, the remnants of shallow slashes across ribs and belly. Inej knew him like a map, knew him by heart, but he thinks that Rat might recognise him, too. He likes that noise, though. He tightens his fingers again, tugging lightly at the silky hair in his hand.

[plaguedrat]

As he discovers them, Rat touches each scar with gentle, curious fingertips. Kaz has already seen–can see them even better as Rat moves low along his body–the worst of Rat's own marks, though there are a few that still remain to be uncovered. Scars indicate survival and for that he admires them, kissing a mark onto one of those knife wounds as he undoes the last button of his shirt.

[everymonstrousthing]

Kaz lies there, muscle and pale skin and watches as Rat's mouth moves over his chest. His fingers are still in Rat's hair. His eyelashes flutter for a moment.

"What do you want?" he asks. It comes out more wondering than he meant.

[plaguedrat]

Rat lifts his head up then and regards Kaz with honest thought. He'd known that Kaz wanted him and that he was happy to serve that need. There's pleasure to be had in this, if it goes so far, but Rat isn't sure of precisely what he wants beyond the obvious. At least, except, for one thing.

"I don't want to be alone."

[everymonstrousthing]

Kaz nods, just a little tilt of his chin and then he leans in, curls in on himself so that he can press his mouth against Rat's again. It's a more sure kiss this time. They both want the same thing here.

[plaguedrat]

That Kaz initiates the kiss sends an odd shiver down his back. It feels a little more like being desired, being wanted, and Rat acquiesces to the kiss, lips parting against Kaz's. With careful but certain motions, Rat slides Kaz's shirt and waistcoat over his shoulders, inviting Kaz to undo his cuffs, to put the clothes aside.

[everymonstrousthing]

He can take the hint. He unbuttons his cuffs and shrugs off his shirt altogether, stripped to the waist now, just slim trousers and boots. He trails the back of his fingers against Rat's side.

"How do you like it?" he asks. It's a question that gets asked in houses like Helleen's. What else does a girl like in her man? He shakes his head to clear the memory.

[plaguedrat]

"Depends on the partner," Rat says honestly. When Kaz touches him, Rat returns the favor and openly admires his bare form. They're both slender, wiry things, Kaz a little broader and more severe and Rat more willowy. He imagines that they fit well together. Curious fingers trip over the planes of Kaz's chest, "What about you?"

[everymonstrousthing]

Rat makes him feel young and callow in a way that he really feels. He's not sure that he enjoys the sensation. His cheeks flush. He worries his lip with his teeth for a moment, trailing his fingers back up Rat's ribs.

"I used to let her take the lead," he says, flushing furiously now. "It always made sense."

[plaguedrat]

"And did you like that?" Rat asks, finding one of Kaz's nipples and rubbing it with his thumb until it perks. The touch is bold, his intentions plain.

[everymonstrousthing]

The touch is enough to Kaz squirm a little. He'd liked it when it was Inej; he suspects he'll like it when it's Rat, too.

He nods.

[plaguedrat]

Rat makes only the smallest show of enjoying the way Kaz reacts and then he bends to kiss him again. "Anything you don't like?"

[everymonstrousthing]

Kaz's mouth quirks into a smile against Rat's lips.

"Not yet."

[plaguedrat]

"Good," he says, catching his lower lip in his teeth. His hand slides down Kaz's body, past the waist of his pants and between his legs, exploring his interest.