(no subject)

[everymonstrousthing]

They were always, he supposes, creatures of habit. In Ketterdam, they had coffee houses and food places they preserved and most evenings that weren't spent at the Crow Club ended together in Kaz's rooms in Per Haskell's house. Her company was always what he preferred, what he sought out. Now, they're living together, without any prior discussion. He has nothing in the apartment downstairs. All of his clothes are here, his books, everything.

Home is wherever she decides to be.

One particular habit that he's developed is that he doesn't go to bed until she's home. He sits and watches television or reads until she's home. Tonight, he's sitting with his feet propped on the sill of an open window, book open across his knees, cigarette between his lips. He's been smoking since just after Jordie died but, here, it's become just another habit.

He smokes. He reads. He waits for his girl to come home.

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[everymonstrousthing]

"You don't have to," he rasps out, his head lifted so that he can watch the way she moves between his thighs. He wants her to, wants it desperately, but he needs her to know that she doesn't have to here, that her choice is what matters. His hips lift, just a little, at the slide of her tongue. Kaz's head falls back. He's never felt anything like it.

"Fuck, Inej. I love you." It seems important to say right then.

[the_wraith]

She knows she doesn't have to. He made her into a wraith, he made her take jobs, but that was all part and parcel of her agreement. Of the contract she chose. He's never made her do anything she didn't want to do.

Inej wants to do this.

She does press her hand to his hip, gentle but firm, to hold down his hips. She doesn't want this to be like every other time. She wants to do it, to have the control.

She strokes his cock slowly in one hand, wraps her lips around the head of his cock and sucks, bobbing her head to fall in line with the rhythm of her hand.

[everymonstrousthing]

He has nothing to compare this to, no way of measuring the surge of feeling and desire when he mouth slides down over him like that. Her hand on his hip is a warning, a request, and Kaz does his best not to move, not to lift his hips, to let her set the pace. He's not going to last. He can't.

He makes a soft, helpless noise that sounds at least something like her name.

[the_wraith]

She knows that sound, the way his rasp wraps around her name. No one ever said her name before, not like that, and she revels in it even while knowing that this isn't going to last long. Maybe it's better that way. Her hand's a little shaky, but it's not noticeable -- to either of them -- when she squeezes it tight around his cock.

She quickens her pace, letting her focus narrow down to the scent of him, the warmth of him in her mouth, the sounds he's making. She focuses on him, only him, not the dozens upon dozens of memories that could barge in. This is their time.

She hears the hitch in his voice that says he's close, tastes the first drop of cum on her tongue, then pulls away to see him to the edge with her hand, tight and fast and slick with spit.

[everymonstrousthing]

It only takes another stroke or two of Inej's hand before he's coming, coming harder than he's ever come on his own. Her name on his lips is the closet thing he's ever uttered a prayer. He whites out for a second. If he was a different sort of man, he might even swear that he saw heaven.

"Fuck," he breathes. "Inej. I love you."

[the_wraith]

"I love you," she replies. It sounds soft, a whisper, insubstantial, but there's no doubt about it in her heart. It's only a mild kind of shock that steals the strength from her voice. Surprise that they actually did what they just did. That the two of them, broken and fucked up as they were, could do this. Have this. And it could feel good.

Her hand and his chest are a mess, but she leans forward to kiss him, quick and hard and full of love.

[everymonstrousthing]

Kaz lifts his head, pressing up into the kiss for a brief, hard moment. He laughs, a little breathlessly, glancing down at himself. He's still shaking, finely.

"Shower?"

[the_wraith]

A nervous laugh bubbles out of her. She feels the same, finely shaking, but a shower sounds good just then. Warm and calming and clean. She doesn't feel dirty like she ever has before, but that's only mental, not physical.

She nods and slips off him, off the bed, and offers a clean hand to help him up.

[everymonstrousthing]

He appreciates that the hand she offers him is clean, not the one she used to bring him over the edge. He finds himself grateful for all of the tiny ways that she knows him better than anyone in the world. He gets up off the bed, wraps one arm around her to tug her into a kiss. He's laughing when it breaks, as he nudges her towards the bathroom.

"I've never loved anything as much as I love you." Not never loved anyone. She knows that already.

[the_wraith]

His laughter warms her, deep in her belly, and she's helpless but to smile up at him.

"I love you too, Kaz." She's never been flowery in her language, unless the proverb she's quoting is. But her words are nothing but sincere, her look nothing but honest and open.