everymonstrousthing | (no subject)

(no subject)

Kaz lets Jesper lead the way. It isn't the first time that he's been in Jesper's apartment but it's the first time without Inej, and that makes everything different. Once he's inside, he shrugs out of his jacket, leaves himself in his shirtsleeves, looks down at his gloves for a long, long time. Irritated, he passes one hand back through his hair and lowers himself down onto the couch.

"Not too late to turn me out onto the street, Jesper."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Jesper's cock feels different from his fingers, pressure and stretch but different. Kaz's eyelashes flutter and he bends his good leg, cradling Jesper's hip.

It shouldn't surprise him when Kaz shifts so that his leg lays against his but the new point of contact does. He shifts a little so that he can support Kaz's bad leg and then he continues to push in, watching Kaz's face over every inch until he settles.

It's like nothing else that he's ever experienced and nothing that he ever expected and he finds that he can't look at Jesper right then, and so he lets his eyes slip closed for a second as Jesper doesn't stop pushing until he's full.

"Fuck."

"That so?" Jesper asks it and tries to feign a casual attitude, tries not to betray how eager he is to move, to really feel him. With Kaz's eyes closed, Jesper can't read anything in them. Can't tell if the curse is displeasure or not.

"Something like that," says Kaz, his breath coming quick and shallow as he gets used to the press of Jesper's cock inside him, the stretch, the slight edge of pain. A different pain that he's used to. He forces his eyes open, looks Jesper - his closest friend, his only friend - in the eye.

He probably shouldn't be surprised at how piercing Kaz's eyes are, all jet black and glittering. As Kaz's breathing starts to even, Jesper shifts back incrementally, legs shaking from keeping his control. The whole time, he watches Kaz, tries to read him.

There's the faintest crease between Kaz's dark eyebrows, just the slightest hint of a frown. Trembling, he raises one hand, his fingers skimming, shaping the air over Jesper's bare shoulder, the back of his head. He barely, just barely, nods.

It's not much of a touch but from Kaz it's everything. His nod means even more and Jesper finally lets himself move, not nearly at the speed he'd like but smoothly, enraptured by him.

And, just like that, Jesper's fucking him. Kaz lets his head fall backs, lets himself get lost in it, for a moment. His fingertips brush Jesper's hair.

His hair's grown out some, enough that Kaz can grab on if he wants. Jesper even bends his head to it and shifts a little, raising Kaz's hips in his grasp.

Kaz does grasp at Jesper's wiry hair, looking for an anchor, letting Jesper shift him, giving in to it.

He'd forgotten how much he liked having his hair pulled, even only slightly. It lets him feel like Kaz is losing control and he never does that.

"You feel good," he says, the words coming out in a rushed breath. "Kaz, you...Saints."

Jesper's been waiting for this forever. Kaz knows that. He's been able to see it in his face for years.

"M'not going to break," he mumbles.

Jesper wants to ask if he's sure but he's also not stupid enough to push that boundary. He nods and lets himself have some of the speed, the intensity that he's wanted since this started.

And that's better. That's intensely better. Kaz groans, a soft and raw sound in the back of his throat. His good leg lifts again, wrapping around Jesper's thigh as they fuck. It's exactly what he needs. He feels wiped clean.

He wants to see Kaz like this again and again and this deep into it, this blissed out, Jesper can forget it likely won't happen. Kaz Brekker doesn't give up parts of himself easy but right now, Jesper can hear and feel him and the way that Kaz is both relaxed and tensed. It's fucking perfect.

He wants, he realises, something else. He needs to feel more anchored. He tugs Jesper's hair, turning his head so that he can kiss him, just a brush of lips.

Of all things, it's the little kiss that shocks him, and that Kaz initiates it. Jesper presses back into the kiss, enjoying the softness of it in the midst of all this.

It's something to hold onto, that kiss. It's a reminder that he isn't all ruined, which is something Inej found out first. Kaz makes a soft sound against Jesper's mouth.

"I like that," Jesper breathes between kisses. There's a little gentleness left in Kaz Brekker and Jesper gets to witness it, if only once.

"What do you like?" mumbles Kaz, his lips smudging against Jesper's with every syllable. He finds himself desperate to know.

"Kissing you," he confesses, forgetting any form of caution. "Never thought I'd get the chance." He shifts again, a hand trailing down Kaz's stomach, teasing at his cock.

Kaz huffs a sound that's half laugh, half moan against Jesper's mouth. His cock is more than half hard and the brush of Jesper's fingers is maddening. He doesn't know whether he wants him to slow down or go harder.

"Bet you pictured it enough."

He laughs, knows that he's caught. It doesn't surprise him that Kaz knows. "Ever since the day we met, but you knew that," he says, squeezing Kaz just a little.

His breath catches and he finds himself smiling, in the middle of it all.

He nods.

"I knew that."